Reality vs Expectation is a concept that we frequently discuss in circles of Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching. That’s because the reality that we experience tends to be primarily influenced by our expectation. Which is why when people ask me something like “Is Hypnosis Real?” I usually respond by asking “What is Real?”
You might imagine that as a hypnotherapist, the idea of reality is one of my favorite topics of discussion. Because our perception of reality is one of the foundational cornerstones that makes hypnosis possible. With that in mind, I think you’ll find this presentation by Anil Seth fascinating. It’s on the subject of how your brain hallucinates your conscious reality, and how he explains this is brilliant.
There is a mathematical equation that we use in Hypnotherapy to explain how expectation affects our ability to be happy. It looks like this:
Happiness = Reality / Expectations.
The theory is that your happiness depends on your perception of reality, divided by your expectations.
Which if you think about it, will explain why some people are happy with things that make other people miserable. The old proverb “One person’s trash is another person’s treasure” is an excellent example of this concept. Each person perceives the value of the item from a different perspective.
This fundamental truth applies to everything in life, from relationships to material goods. With that in mind, the next time you experience a conflict in your relationship, try to see things from the other person’s perspective.
When you do, you’ll be amazed at the relationship between reality vs expectation. You’ll see how even the slightest shift in your perception, can change the scope of the entire situation.
Relationships play a crucial part in all our lives, and they have the power to affect everything. Quite often when people consult with me to improve their performance at work, the problem lies in their relationship at home. The reality is that if we’re not happy in our primary connection, we’re not likely to operate at peak performance.
Therefore, I want to spend some more time addressing the relationship between reality vs expectation. Because it is often the difference between reality vs expectation in our relationships, that is causing the most problems in our lives. The funny thing is that most of the time, the other person isn’t even aware of what your expectations might be. The most likely reason is that they’re operating from within their model of the world.
That is the social construct which represents their idea of how things should work according to their views. The apparent goal is for everybody in the relationship to get their needs met. While still respecting the model of the world from which the other person is operating.
Interestingly enough, most of the time when I ask somebody whether their expectations are realistic, they confirm that they are not. And yet at the same time, they are still operating from that model of the world.
The most likely reason for this is because we tend to learn by example. Therefore, the boy and girl above might find themselves having a similar argument with their adult partners.
During which they might also be arguing internally with themselves. The couple might realize that the argument makes no sense from a logical perspective, and yet at the same time feel driven to defend a position.
Perhaps you’ve found yourself in the midst of an argument, wondering why you are even arguing? If so, you are not alone. Many people find themselves in the same position, merely arguing for the sake of doing so. One of the downsides to these types of arguments is that they often carry over into the bedroom.
It might be fair to say that one part of the equation does not exist without the other. As the concept applies to your romantic relationship, it is fair to assume that sex is an integral part of the equation.
I’m not suggesting that sex is a necessary part of an adult relationship, but rather that our expectation of sex, and how our sex lives should be, affects our perception of reality.
With this in mind, one person in a relationship might see their sex lives as boring, while their other half thinks things are wild and crazy. It’s all a matter of perception, which factors into the reality vs expectation equation. The secret is to talk about your expectations and desires and find common ground.
Interestingly enough, the very idea of having a conversation with their partner freaks a lot of people out. Many people find themselves trapped in a relationship where they are merely going through the motions.
While I don’t do couples therapy, I do help a lot of people create a better sense of balance in their lives. In doing so, I am usually only working with one person in the relationship.
It is always surprising to see how much a relationship can improve, even if only one person is working on it. With that in mind, what we work on is improving your ability to remain calm in situations which used to cause stress.
It also helps to develop a stronger sense of self-esteem and greater feelings of empowerment or confidence. These are all traits of a healthy and robust personality, which will make you more successful in all areas of your life.
Remember that you are in the driver’s seat on the road to happiness. Nobody can make you feel or do anything without your permission. On that note, you can take steps to feel happier and more confident right now.
Hypnosis is an excellent way to build confidence and self-esteem. Hypnotherapy works by bypassing the critical faculty of the conscious mind, which enables you to improve on a subconscious level.
Given the fact that the conscious mind only controls about 12% of your behavior, the most efficient way to create long-lasting change is in the subconscious. You will be amazed by the power of your unconscious mind, and how quickly you can improve your life using hypnosis.
There are many ways to use hypnosis for confidence and success in all areas of your life. Unlike traditional psychology or therapy, it is not necessary to dig back through time and look for the root of the issue.
On the contrary, it seems that people feel better about themselves when they focus on the present. Listening to the Quick Confidence Hypnosis Pack from Hypnosis Downloads is one of the fastest ways to take control of your emotional growth.
This set of hypnosis downloads consists of the following self-help programs:
Speaking of confidence, I’m incredibly confident that you will benefit from listening to these hypnotic recordings. I enjoy listening to these self-hypnosis sessions myself and look forward to hearing about your experience.
You might be wondering how greater confidence and self-esteem will affect things like reality vs expectation. The fact is that when you’re feeling more confident and self-assured, you are less likely to experience negative emotions.
Even the slightest shift in your self-confidence and self-esteem can dramatically affect your relationships. One the same note, the better you feel, the easier it will be for you to understand another person’s model of the world.
At the same time, you are likely to feel happier and experience more joy. One of the many benefits of being happy is that it enables you to create a more empowering reality built on high expectations. And that sounds good, doesn’t it?
Being able to look ahead into the future and see things getting brighter as you feel more and more confident and self-assured.